I’m
not sure if you guys know, but I used to be a travel agent.
Travel
agents make their money in a variety of ways, one of which may or may not be
the most popular theory of “ripping you off”. However, we also can save
you a lot! The trick is to find a travel agent that you trust and also to do some research on your own beforehand.
With
that said, every time I tricked, I mean… convinced a couple that they should go
to a Sandals Resort over any other basic all-inclusive resort, I would see
dollar signs and chuckle to myself.
I
knew that Sandals was a 7 star property but for 1.5x the amount of any other 5
star resort---please…y’all are fools!
Turns
out, I am the fool after all of these years. I’m not saying that if you can’t
afford it that you’re missing out because I believe in living (and that
includes treating yourself) within your means. But if you were like me and
thinking, I would rather buy 10 more couch cushions or picture frames than
spend the extra $700-$1000 to go to a Sandals Resort, you need to check yoself,
befo you wreck yoself! Because this sh*t is worth the sacrifice of another 100
couch cushions!
Here
are my top 7 reasons why a Sandals Resort is worth it! (In the order of least
important to most important- in my opinion)
Da
Booze
So
I’m not a big casual drinker. I believe you should only swallow that highly
caloric poison when your intention is to get wasted and have no memory of that
night (or day… if that’s your kinda thing… I’m not judging).
BUTTTT the booze at Sandals is all top shelf,
premium liquor! And after you try this God sent liquid gold of a drink, you
will believe in casual drinking all day errday! I present to you- THE DIRTY
BANANA (not the dirty monkey like my hilarious friend Christine aka @miss_brogs
keeps mistakenly calling it) Dirty Banana!
And not just this drink, but with all of the
other drinks, you cannot even taste the alcohol, it’s actually dangerous, dangerously GOOD!
No
Tips Allowed
This
excludes butlers and shuttle drivers but once you’re on the resort, every bartender, chamber maid, waitress and waiter, does not expect a tip. In fact, if they are
caught accepting tips, they can be fired.
There
is no need to carry around loose bills anymore and once you have booked the
trip, the most you’ll spend in tips is $10! That’s what I call All Inclusive!
Private
Beaches
“WAGWAN
my lady! Did you want to buy-“ UMMM No.
I don’t.
Also... Suggest
I braid my hair…and die.. okay? Thanks!
Don’t
get me wrong, I love experiencing new cultures and meeting new people. I just
hate being sold! I paid good money for this vacation and I’m not about to pay
more for a beaded bracelet I will not wear! #sorrynotsorry
At Sandals, their beaches are completely
private. There are no vendors harassing you and there are always more
lounge chairs than there are people.
No
Crowds
Hi, my name is J and I require more than 3
hours of sleep at night and no, I am not willing to wake up at 4am just to
reserve a lounge chair by the pool or on the beach.
I mean, come on, really? Is it just me, or does
anyone else seem to make a routine of stumbling to the pool after a hearty
breakfast everyday only to find that every single lounge chair has been
reserved! I’ve literally asked another guest once for a tip on how to get a
lounge chair and they actually said to me “If you get up at 3, you can catch a
beautiful sunrise and have your pick of chairs.” EXCUSE ME? 3? Tell me you mean
PM! NO WAY! NAH! Here, move over, let me sit on yo lap!”
At Sandals, there is rarely a time of day where
there isn’t at least a few free lounge chairs. During our stay, there was only
1 day where it took us maybe 1 hour of leaving our things by the side of the
pool before a couple chairs cleared up.
The ratio of guests to staff and hotel
amenities is 10x better than any other resort or cruise ship I have ever
experienced.
Not to mention that there were several other
pools that weren’t as crowded as the two main pools which ALWAYS had free
loungers.
The
FOOD
If there is anything you know about me, it’s
that I LOVEEEE FOOODDD and I love GOOD FOOD!
All the other all inclusives that I have been
to have subpar food even in their a la cart restaurants (sit down dinner
restaurants).
Don’t even get me started on their
buffets…errday I’m like “Imma stick to this toast- ooh there’s a fly on it,
okay boxed cereal it is!” and then the days you really cannot handle eating
anymore boxed cereal, you stand in line for 5 hours at the omelet station,
resisting the urge to scream at the drunken 17 year old to JUST DECIDE WHETHER
OR NOT YOU WANT TO ADD THE CHEESE!!!
Not to mention, having limits on how many a la
cart dinners you are allowed in 1 stay. Yep, that’s right, many resorts
restrict the amount of days you can go to an a la cart.
Another huge pain is having to RUSH IMMEDIATELY
to the front desk to make reservations for these restaurants for fear they may
book up and leave you with the “oriental themed buffet night”
The Sandals difference is GOOD food! Not just
all you can eat, but all you can eat of quality dishes!
There were 10 a la cart restaurants and and additional 6
“quick service” where you could still sit and order quality food like wood fire
pizza or authentic jerk chicken.
You were only required to make reservations at
3 restaurants. The rest did not require reservations, show up, grab a drink at
the bar, and wait a maximum of 5 minutes to be ushered to your table.
FREE Scuba Diving for
Padi Divers
So I'm terrified of the ocean. It is my number 2 fear.
Only second to the feeling of falling (not heights).
But when you're travelling with a Padi Certified diver and diving
is free... you cannot say no to just trying it out at least. The cost of
diving, once certified, can range from $75- $150 USD. During my trip, we went
on 4 dives. If you were so inclined, you were allowed 2 dives per day!
At the end of the first dive, I was so
comfortable with my instructor and the professional divers who came with us, I
decided to take this opportunity to get certified. It cost me about $450 USD
and was worth every penny!
Adults ONLY! Couples ONLY!
So, unfortunately for my
mother, I am amongst the 10% of home instagramers who is not a mommy. Until, I
have my own screaming, brat of an angel, I plan to stay as far away from their drool
and snot as possible.
Sandals’ 18+ age policy and
couples only policy also prevents the drunken teens and topless bar dancers.
What’s left are doe eyed
honeymooners, tired mommies and daddies looking to reconnect while the babies
stay with the grandparents, and peaceful empty nesters.
Of course, you can go with a friend and pretend to be a couple but be warned that you will be surrounded by only couples and there is no such thing as 2 beds in 1 room at Sandals. So if you are travelling with a friend, make sure that you:
a) Are perfectly comfortable with an accidental midnight spoon or two
b) Are very good at making pillow barricades in bed
If you do have children and
want to bring them along (for whatever bizarre reason- I’m only kidding..half
kidding) have no fear, Sandals has a sister resort called Beaches with all the
same perks except they are geared toward families. They even have sesame street
characters running around the property!
For
these 7 reasons alone, I don’t think I would ever be able to go back to a non
Sandals all inclusive again!