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1.13.2016

To Sandals Or To Save- Not Even A Question!

I’m not sure if you guys know, but I used to be a travel agent.
Travel agents make their money in a variety of ways, one of which may or may not be the most popular theory of “ripping you off”. However, we also can save you a lot! The trick is to find a travel agent that you trust and also to do some research on your own beforehand.

With that said, every time I tricked, I mean… convinced a couple that they should go to a Sandals Resort over any other basic all-inclusive resort, I would see dollar signs and chuckle to myself.
I knew that Sandals was a 7 star property but for 1.5x the amount of any other 5 star resort---please…y’all are fools!

Turns out, I am the fool after all of these years. I’m not saying that if you can’t afford it that you’re missing out because I believe in living (and that includes treating yourself) within your means. But if you were like me and thinking, I would rather buy 10 more couch cushions or picture frames than spend the extra $700-$1000 to go to a Sandals Resort, you need to check yoself, befo you wreck yoself! Because this sh*t is worth the sacrifice of another 100 couch cushions!



Here are my top 7 reasons why a Sandals Resort is worth it! (In the order of least important to most important- in my opinion)




             Da Booze
So I’m not a big casual drinker. I believe you should only swallow that highly caloric poison when your intention is to get wasted and have no memory of that night (or day… if that’s your kinda thing… I’m not judging).
BUTTTT the booze at Sandals is all top shelf, premium liquor! And after you try this God sent liquid gold of a drink, you will believe in casual drinking all day errday! I present to you- THE DIRTY BANANA (not the dirty monkey like my hilarious friend Christine aka @miss_brogs keeps mistakenly calling it) Dirty Banana!
And not just this drink, but with all of the other drinks, you cannot even taste the alcohol, it’s actually dangerous, dangerously GOOD!




             No Tips Allowed
This excludes butlers and shuttle drivers but once you’re on the resort, every bartender, chamber maid, waitress and waiter, does not expect a tip. In fact, if they are caught accepting tips, they can be fired.
There is no need to carry around loose bills anymore and once you have booked the trip, the most you’ll spend in tips is $10! That’s what I call All Inclusive!




           Private Beaches
“WAGWAN my lady! Did you want to buy-“  UMMM No. I don’t.
Also... Suggest I braid my hair…and die.. okay? Thanks! 
Don’t get me wrong, I love experiencing new cultures and meeting new people. I just hate being sold! I paid good money for this vacation and I’m not about to pay more for a beaded bracelet I will not wear! #sorrynotsorry

At Sandals, their beaches are completely private. There are no vendors harassing you and there are always more lounge chairs than there are people.




             No Crowds
Hi, my name is J and I require more than 3 hours of sleep at night and no, I am not willing to wake up at 4am just to reserve a lounge chair by the pool or on the beach.
I mean, come on, really? Is it just me, or does anyone else seem to make a routine of stumbling to the pool after a hearty breakfast everyday only to find that every single lounge chair has been reserved! I’ve literally asked another guest once for a tip on how to get a lounge chair and they actually said to me “If you get up at 3, you can catch a beautiful sunrise and have your pick of chairs.” EXCUSE ME? 3? Tell me you mean PM! NO WAY! NAH! Here, move over, let me sit on yo lap!”
At Sandals, there is rarely a time of day where there isn’t at least a few free lounge chairs. During our stay, there was only 1 day where it took us maybe 1 hour of leaving our things by the side of the pool before a couple chairs cleared up.
The ratio of guests to staff and hotel amenities is 10x better than any other resort or cruise ship I have ever experienced.
Not to mention that there were several other pools that weren’t as crowded as the two main pools which ALWAYS had free loungers.






            The FOOD
If there is anything you know about me, it’s that I LOVEEEE FOOODDD and I love GOOD FOOD!
All the other all inclusives that I have been to have subpar food even in their a la cart restaurants (sit down dinner restaurants).
Don’t even get me started on their buffets…errday I’m like “Imma stick to this toast- ooh there’s a fly on it, okay boxed cereal it is!” and then the days you really cannot handle eating anymore boxed cereal, you stand in line for 5 hours at the omelet station, resisting the urge to scream at the drunken 17 year old to JUST DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT YOU WANT TO ADD THE CHEESE!!!
Not to mention, having limits on how many a la cart dinners you are allowed in 1 stay. Yep, that’s right, many resorts restrict the amount of days you can go to an a la cart.
Another huge pain is having to RUSH IMMEDIATELY to the front desk to make reservations for these restaurants for fear they may book up and leave you with the “oriental themed buffet night”

The Sandals difference is GOOD food! Not just all you can eat, but all you can eat of quality dishes!
There were 10 a la cart restaurants and and additional 6 “quick service” where you could still sit and order quality food like wood fire pizza or authentic jerk chicken.
You were only required to make reservations at 3 restaurants. The rest did not require reservations, show up, grab a drink at the bar, and wait a maximum of 5 minutes to be ushered to your table.



  FREE Scuba Diving for Padi Divers
So I'm terrified of the ocean. It is my number 2 fear. Only second to the feeling of falling (not heights).
But when you're travelling with a Padi Certified diver and diving is free... you cannot say no to just trying it out at least. The cost of diving, once certified, can range from $75- $150 USD. During my trip, we went on 4 dives. If you were so inclined, you were allowed 2 dives per day!
At the end of the first dive, I was so comfortable with my instructor and the professional divers who came with us, I decided to take this opportunity to get certified. It cost me about $450 USD and was worth every penny!






  Adults ONLY! Couples ONLY!
So, unfortunately for my mother, I am amongst the 10% of home instagramers who is not a mommy. Until, I have my own screaming, brat of an angel, I plan to stay as far away from their drool and snot as possible.
Sandals’ 18+ age policy and couples only policy also prevents the drunken teens and topless bar dancers.
What’s left are doe eyed honeymooners, tired mommies and daddies looking to reconnect while the babies stay with the grandparents, and peaceful empty nesters.
Of course, you can go with a friend and pretend to be a couple but be warned that you will be surrounded by only couples and there is no such thing as 2 beds in 1 room at Sandals. So if you are travelling with a friend, make sure that you:
a) Are perfectly comfortable with an accidental midnight spoon or two
b) Are very good at making pillow barricades in bed

If you do have children and want to bring them along (for whatever bizarre reason- I’m only kidding..half kidding) have no fear, Sandals has a sister resort called Beaches with all the same perks except they are geared toward families. They even have sesame street characters running around the property! 



For these 7 reasons alone, I don’t think I would ever be able to go back to a non Sandals all inclusive again!